end of 2009

today is the end of 2009. it may seem anticipating to some people, however, it may also be dreadful for the rest. for me, it just marks the begining of a new battle. a new battle against the current-self. i don't deny the fact that i've changed so much this year. probably due to my strong desire to excel in studies, i've actually became so anti-social and introverted. when i browsed through the photos which i took with my friends and the cards that they gave it to me, i felt a sense of regret and of shame washing over me. i don't know how to face the world. i'm just hiding behind the computer, like a loser, watching digimon and playing maplesea. my life is totally of boredom. recently i kept seeing people tagging about the o lvls result. it's only a mere 2 weeks from now. i've actually forgotten about that. i;ve thought that i lived in total freedom and have nothing to worry and fear. but my fear seemed to awaken yesterday. i knew i would not do well for various subjects and would sure let some teachers down. and everything just became a dream. there, i saw i've got 11 points, having nowhere to go. i was ruined, i told myself. i'm a goner. i was demoralized and totally lost hope. until the moment i opened my eyes, the pain in there never ease. i don't know whether this dream would become true or not. this year, i had many dreams about results etc. i was just so worry about all tests, MYE and EOY. my dreams are never positive anyway. this was the part which made me even more depressed and hopeless. i hope this time round the dream would be a false lead. i really want to do well.. i've watched my friends get their results, postings and classes. it seemed to be easy but to them, it's totally a new thing. a new life in fact. having to face new people and difficulties which awaits them. this is the challenge to life. having to live means to anticipate change. i always shared about trusting God and having faith in Him in rangers. i have to practice what i preached. whenever i began to think about my mistakes in the papers, i would always divert my attention to my own testimony. that is trusting God. He has a plan for us; plans to prosper us and not to harm us. plans to give us a hope and future. jeremiah 29:11. i would never forget this verse because this is one which inspires me all along. all i've to do is to trust God and leave everything to him. trusting God means having peace and no worries. i need to have the strength. i need to have that faith. this year is one of promise-breaking, lies and disdainful acts. i hated myself whenever those "unholy" words emerge from my mouth. I Seriously Hate It. i've not been saying those stuff for such a long time. and everything just...... i was ruined the minute those words came out. it just became a habit. I've to CHANGE! will not be going for watch-night service today. rather, i will be staying at home, facing at this computer, this screen, typing my new-year resolution. i believe my Lord is a fair God. He was, He is, and He will be. :)

this world is crazy

friday 11/12/09 10:37pM

36 hours to HK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woolala!
going to hk soon!! haha. just received an email from gu zhang about our plans in hk. it's a long list and i could see "breakfast", "lunch" and "dinner" being planned!! wakakaka!! :D:D can't wait to..... *anticipating*
anyway, went to jeremiah's house again today to tutor him science. went there by myself!! took lrt to pending and walked to his house. scorching sun!! his mother wasn't in. -.- i was super scared of his dog thus had to ask him to lock the dog inside their room. sorry arh. :( the dog too BIG!! :( his mind wasn't right. he kept thinking of maplestory etc and kept asking me to give him my acc! =.+!! *exasperated!* anyway, left the house 5 minutes earlier since his mum wasn't in :x!! took lrt to lot 1 then mrt to boon lay. went jurong point to look for jobs. sigh. walked for 1 hr++ finally applied for 2 jobs and 2 more still considering whether to call tomorrow. the pay is abit low la. but it's okay. :) hope they'll call me asap before i leave for HK!!! :( reached yewtee and bought dinner home! bought the marcroni since the uncle kept pestering me. super little lar. i think i nid to eat like 3 bowls then enough. =.= scam my money!! played maple etc. mum and dad came home from JB and bought super many things!! mum bought 2 shirts for me. $30++ worth of chocolates from action city!!! (don't even think about it!) ahah. :)

i think my dad's the best father in the world!! he sponcered the trip to HK ( though at first my grandma said she would sponcer ) $3k plus!! plus he changed money for us about $400! i got $200/$400!! WAKAKAKAA!! $.$ he said he's getting his bonus tomorrow thus my mum dragged him along to JB to buy stuff + shopping. poor daddy! HAHAHA! sunday morning he would have to wake up early as us to drive us and grandma etc to changi airport!! o.O!!

anyway, my scholarship letter came a few weeks ago. daddy opened my letter!! luckily inside never reveal the amount i'll be getting :D! another letter came yesterday and my dad opened it too!!! =.= inside says i would receive $200. dad thought it's myscholarship =.=. it's the EAGLES award bursary. haha my scholarship would be $500. total $700!! :D will be keeping it a secret. not intending to let my parents know if not.................. shhh... :x my dad won't allow me to work and my mum would find ways to scam my money!! :xxx

woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HKHKHKHKHK!!!!!!!!!!! :D

3 more days to HK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thursday 10.12.09 12:22pm

yucks
i'm going crazy!!! holidays are a total rubbish to me cause i'm seriously slacking! although i'm currently working ( as private tutor ) but the dates and time are so unstable! an hour for like $15 is cool but the duration is like only 2 hours?!! so super short and i don't know what to do next. woke up super early yesterday and went to cck stadium to swim (on an empty stomach!) it was super disturbing cause i'm having stomach cramps. sun tanned and i rested on the ground. guess what. i was so tired that i've dozzed off unintentionally! to my surprise, the skin on my elbows tore MADLY today!!! T.T gotta stop sun tanning if i wan to prevent any skin cancer :(

after swimming, went to yewtee to buy lunch. guess what, it rained so heavily and i've just finished bathing!!goodness.... called daddy and he drove me home =.= went out again at around 2:40pm to go to jeremiah's house to tutor him science. hais. the process was rubbish. he was easily distratced and kept talking to me about maple story and stuff. i had to REN and force a smile to continue teaching. 2 hours passed like housefly. i don't think he benefitted from it anyway. p4 syllabus was weird. gotta change my method of teaching! :) brainstorming on it later. there's another make up session tomorrow cause i'll be at hk next week. yup.

called nanny house yesterday to look for xinee. apparently she had left for a cruise. (WITHOUT TELLING ME !!) i still thought i could start a session with her asap! she's going to hk on the same date as me. sigh. how am i going to tutor her then? :( mummy's a liar, a promise breaker, an everything!!! she promised to let me work for her $5 an hour today and tomorrow but she changed her mind yesterday! was super mad thus quarrelled with her. she thought i only want money thus wanted to give me $100. crazy. i then don't want her money. i only want to earn my OWN money.

crazy world!! gonna pack my luggage and play maplesea later. lazy to do anything. gotta find a job with michelle once i return from HK! IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!! ( daddy is also crazy. he don't allow me to find a job!!! ) but i heck le. i'm rotting like madness!!! argh!
gonna swim tomorrow morning and go for tutoring. :)

ultra madness!!

photossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

my last photo outside Kranji :)
没有这么小的头就不要戴那么小的帽子!!
from sec 2 juniors!!!!

steal our stuff huh mam?!

cuteeeeeeeeeeeee????????

cakes

salad

ice kachiang

ice cream neh!!

toppings :D

MY PRO 1ST!!!!!! word challenge

saaaaa

7.12.09 monday 8:14pm

hihi.
back to blog for awhile. went for POC yesterday morning. :)
woke up very early today to the crematory to witness my gong gong's cremation.
shall not ela on that.
headed to the quality hotel of singapore to have buffet lunch. quite ex. but the food was super nice. gonna rest tomorrow. had been running about these few days. nidda a rest.

Trust in Him

saturday 5.12.09 11.30pm

hmph.

hasn't been blogging the past few days cause i had nothing much to talk about. atc has commenced officially today. gave it a miss cause something happened at home. my grandfather passed away on 3rd dec 10.26pm. it was a total shock to all of us cause a phone call at around 9++pm startled almost the entire family. i wasn't very close to my grandfather(mother side) but i still had memories with him. i remember him giving me money when i was young and us eating the nuts during cny. he was still perfectly healthy this year's cny. and now.. i'm sure God is in control of everything. my grandfather had gone home to be with the Lord. :)
went to the casket tonight. just came back just now. tired.

i've finally found my jobs ( yes, JOBS )
applied for a restaurant job $5/hour but they haven call me.
tutoring my cousin p5 science $15 an hour next wed onwards :)
tutoring xinee p6 psle maths $5 an hour next thursday :DD ( yes i know the fee....... ) :x
*maid* job ---> do house work at home $5 per day ^^
gonna still find other jobs to keep me richer :D:D:D
maybe going to westmall/woodlands to find soon. :P

leaving for hk on sunday. who wants a souvenir? (my photograph with micky mouse!)